Depleted uranium, depleted soils competing for headline space. Not on NYT but some other place.

Soldiers depleted by uranium return to subsistence farms depleted by big guns of agri-business and their friends in Washington. Soldiers run into long march against GMOs across Thailand.

Terminator alert! Terminator alert! shout the weary peasants of BIOTHAI! "Watch out for self-destructive seed," says leader in red scarf. Seed munches its way across several continents and then stops in its tracks and disappears into the gene pool, dried up by the inexplicable drought which has replaced the monsoon of yesteryear.

And where has the monsoon gone? To California, of course. Everyone is moving to California. Why ? Haven't they heard about the energy crunch? No, man, eveything in California is like totally free, man.

The aliens are coming! The aliens are coming! They're here already. I thought everybody knew that. The UK government's Advisory Committee on Releases to the Environment (ACRE) gives everyone 40 mules and an acre. Please revise. 40 acres and a mule. No, they don't. Yes, they do.

They're soliciting comments on a draft document, "Guidance on Best Practice on the Design of GM Crops. Paper presents the main methods for preventing gene flow. Do you have a friend in Washington?

Stop gene flow, and the heartbreak of psorias. Write your Congressman today!

Tree huggers embrace tractors in show of solidarity before 60 minutes interview with Mike Wallace. "No human cancer of any type has ever been seen as a result of exposure to natural or depleted uranium," says US Department of Defense last month. "Short-term effects of high doses can result in death, while long-terms effects of low doses have been implicated in cancer," says a report of the Army Environmental Policy Institue, entitled Health and Environmental Consequences of Depleted Uranium Use in the U.S. Army, June 1995.

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Have you had your flu shot? How ya gonna keep down on the farm once they seen virtual reality?

Pandas move into #10 million dollar estate next to Bill and Hill. Can you believe someone actually sold them a house? They say this pair are much livlier and 'in love". Oh, good.

The District of Columbia initiates its DU buy back program today and reports total satisfaction. Are you ready for Viagra? Viagra's ready for you.